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鄧登凳
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文章: 9497
註冊時間: 週一 03 8月, 2009 17:15
來自: 3rd planet of solar system

文章 鄧登凳 » 週四 14 1月, 2010 20:42

Sorry, "for the further details" should be "for further details". :oops:

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sn-10
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文章: 1030
註冊時間: 週四 22 7月, 2004 13:21
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文章 sn-10 » 週四 14 1月, 2010 21:35

The new version on your site still doesn't sound quite right....

My suggestion:

We accept the(delete "the") Paypal (please add extra(delete) 3.5% for(delete) administration cost (delete) (Paypal fee)), Money Order, or Pay check.

We welcome the(delete "the") oversea customer(s). However, the listing price is only(delete) for Hong Kong buyer(s) (only). For the(delete "For the") oversea customer(s), we need to add the administration cost, shipment cost and insurance (delete whole sentence) (please email for the exact price). Please e-mail to me for the further advice. (delete whole sentence)

It becomes:
We accept the Paypal (please add extra 3.5% Paypal Fee), Money Order, or Pay check.

We welcome oversea customers. However, the listing price is for Hong Kong buyers only. Oversea customers please kindly email for the exact price.


I think it's cleaner and clearer.

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鄧登凳
夸克星
文章: 9497
註冊時間: 週一 03 8月, 2009 17:15
來自: 3rd planet of solar system

文章 鄧登凳 » 週四 14 1月, 2010 22:49

Grammatically it is always "overseas"
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary 寫:Main Entry: 2over·seas
Pronunciation: \ˈō-vər-ˌsēz\
Function: adjective
Date: 1892
1 : of or relating to movement, transport, or communication over the sea <an overseas liner>
2 : situated, originating in, or relating to lands beyond the sea <overseas installations>
Most dictionaries do not carry "oversea" only "overseas".

syyuen168
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文章: 3856
註冊時間: 週五 06 7月, 2007 23:06

文章 syyuen168 » 週四 14 1月, 2010 23:58

Boss Funooo, I think you are very lucky becuase there are many experts out there who help you for grammer correction at NO COST. Should you be sucessful in the future, you should thank them in return :D :)

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sn-10
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文章: 1030
註冊時間: 週四 22 7月, 2004 13:21
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文章 sn-10 » 週五 15 1月, 2010 09:26

鄧登凳 寫:Grammatically it is always "overseas"
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary 寫:Main Entry: 2over·seas
Pronunciation: \ˈō-vər-ˌsēz\
Function: adjective
Date: 1892
1 : of or relating to movement, transport, or communication over the sea <an overseas liner>
2 : situated, originating in, or relating to lands beyond the sea <overseas installations>
Most dictionaries do not carry "oversea" only "overseas".
Yes, should be overseas, not oversea. Sorry for the silly mistake, I missed that error. :oops:

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bingsze
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文章: 3939
註冊時間: 週一 15 1月, 2007 18:13
來自: hong kong

文章 bingsze » 週五 15 1月, 2010 12:15

仲有,clearer 係唔係應該用 more clear呢! :D
cleaner 亦都可以改用另一個字呢?嘻!
平時只要能看明,就已經收課,不過,今次玩開英文班,
所以講究一下! :D

syyuen168
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文章: 3856
註冊時間: 週五 06 7月, 2007 23:06

Next Seminar

文章 syyuen168 » 週五 15 1月, 2010 12:26

Maybe "Business English" should be the next subject after the Photoshop semianr [樂奔] [吃太飽]

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MANDII
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文章: 2951
註冊時間: 週二 28 7月, 2009 15:13
來自: HK

文章 MANDII » 週五 15 1月, 2010 12:26

我又无聊玩下呢句啦.

" We welcome oversea customers. However, the listing price is for Hong Kong buyers only. Oversea customers please kindly email for the exact price."


The listed product pricing is dedicated to local gentlemans .
Oversea persons are welcomed and price negotiable .
Contacts: XXX@XXXX , 9877XXXX(mr.xx)

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MANDII
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文章: 2951
註冊時間: 週二 28 7月, 2009 15:13
來自: HK

文章 MANDII » 週五 15 1月, 2010 12:43

到时那个HK人认为不是gentleman的,便可另话. 哈哈!!

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Eddy So
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文章: 11641
註冊時間: 週四 04 12月, 2008 22:35
來自: 中男海

文章 Eddy So » 週五 15 1月, 2010 12:49

MANDII 寫:我又无聊玩下呢句啦.

" We welcome oversea customers. However, the listing price is for Hong Kong buyers only. Oversea customers please kindly email for the exact price."


The listed product pricing is dedicated to local gentlemans .
Oversea persons are welcomed and price negotiable .
Contacts: XXX@XXXX , 9877XXXX(mr.xx)
有點性別歧視啊!應該寫"ladies and gentlemen".

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Nosneb
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文章: 2813
註冊時間: 週五 12 5月, 2006 13:31
來自: 中華人民共和國 香港特別行政區

文章 Nosneb » 週五 15 1月, 2010 13:07

gentleman的複數應該為gentlemen. 但係用gentlemen我覺得好似有少少格格不入.

呢句我會咁寫 "Prices as shown in this web are applcable to HK only. Overseas purchasing are also welcomed, please contact me for more information." 我覺得唔洗講太多關於海外購買要加乜費乜費, 因為正常人都知到網上訂外國貨要加運費etc... 越係長篇出錯機會就越多,所以一齊以精簡為妙.

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鄧登凳
夸克星
文章: 9497
註冊時間: 週一 03 8月, 2009 17:15
來自: 3rd planet of solar system

文章 鄧登凳 » 週五 15 1月, 2010 13:17

最好女又老闆先做好一個不可多得的中文網頁, 才做一個語句通順的英文頁。

個人印象, 一句中一句英的網頁, 給人的感覺是不夠專業 :oops:

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Nosneb
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文章: 2813
註冊時間: 週五 12 5月, 2006 13:31
來自: 中華人民共和國 香港特別行政區

文章 Nosneb » 週五 15 1月, 2010 13:24

Nosneb 寫:gentleman的複數應該為gentlemen. 但係用gentlemen我覺得好似有少少格格不入.

呢句我會咁寫 "Prices as shown in this web are applcable to HK only. Overseas purchasing are also welcomed, please contact me for more information." 我覺得唔洗講太多關於海外購買要加乜費乜費, 因為正常人都知到網上訂外國貨要加運費etc... 越係長篇出錯機會就越多,所以一齊以精簡為妙.
想了又想, 如果要再精簡d直情可以將"xxxx hk only"呢句刪去, 直截了當寫成"Overseas purchasing are also welcomed, please contact me for more information"就成. 因為web內的price已經show左係RMB/HKD, 正常人都會知係香港或大陸價

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Nosneb
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文章: 2813
註冊時間: 週五 12 5月, 2006 13:31
來自: 中華人民共和國 香港特別行政區

文章 Nosneb » 週五 15 1月, 2010 13:25

鄧登凳 寫:最好女又老闆先做好一個不可多得的中文網頁, 才做一個語句通順的英文頁。

個人印象, 一句中一句英的網頁, 給人的感覺是不夠專業 :oops:
同意 :oops:

anyone
夸克星
文章: 14026
註冊時間: 週六 07 2月, 2009 12:13
來自: hong kong

文章 anyone » 週五 15 1月, 2010 13:42

今次真係一個不可多得的學習 good engilsh 機會! :D

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